4.11.2005

i've been much too busy....

having incredible sex with E. so i am moved back 'home' officially now, and after a short pause from men, i came to my senses and have been spending time with E. we've been going for motorcycle rides, going out to eat, just bumming around, and, of course, having hot sex.
i have been pretty much begging him to take me on rides whenever we are free and the weather is nice. it's so wonderful sitting behind him, with my arms around him, feeling the wind all around me and watching the scenery fly by.
Saturday night, some of my friends from college came out to visit, and we just hung out at the bar for the night, and E gave me a ride back on his bike, of course. everyone was crashing at my place, on the couches and hide-a-beds, etc, and there wasn't much privacy. so E and I climbed into my bed and at first i just expected to go to sleep, but i couldnt help it, so i reached over and began to rub his cock a little. he informed me that he was thinking the same thing, so we snuck to a more private area.
E went down on me for a bit, then began to fuck me. i was getting so close to coming just from feeling his hard cock in me, when all of a sudden he pulled out and started to eat me again....it was a surprise and immediately i began to orgasm, and man was it hard! it felt like it was never going to stop. i loooove those.
so as i was attempting to catch my breath a few minutes later, he continued to fuck me, hard, just how i like it, until he came, shooting on my stomach. i licked some of it up, then we put our clothes back on and went back to bed!!
i love sleeping next to him, always have, it's so comfortable, and he had to get up super early to go to work, so when i woke up in the morning he was gone, which always makes me a little sad.


last night, i decided to make fajitas for my mom, her bf, my little sister, and my grandma. i invited E over and he came after work, after we had all eaten. i heated up the fajitas, and after he ate (sometimes i can't tell if i'm being more of a mom than a girlfriend: doing laundry, making him dinner...ha) we decided to go for a walk. it was such a warm night, just a little bit cloudy so we could see most of the stars. we live near a lake, so we walked down the street and sat by the lake and just talked, i don't know for how long. i could have sat there with him all night. it's my favorite spot to go with him, walking or on the bike....it's so dark, and quiet, and peaceful.

so we finally headed back, and decided i'd spend the night at his house. i got ready for bed and headed over there, and after cuddling for awhile, i climbed on top of him, kissing him, getting him out of his clothes (as well as myself), and began to kiss and lick and suck his dick.....which is one of my favorite things to do, i love his cock so much, i love the reaction i get from him. and i would have continued but my pussy was aching for it, so i straddled him and began to ride him, grinding on him til i came.....
at one point i glanced over at the wall, and our shadows from the lamp were so hot....my ass moving back and forth, my tits bouncing....yeah i'd do myself. ha.

i continued to bounce up and down on his cock, and E suddenly flipped me over and began to fuck me from behind....it felt soooooo good. nearly pulled the sheets off the bed, i was grabbing and pulling at them so hard. "i'm gonna come....."and he pulled out and i felt his hot come on my lower back and on my butt as he groaned....then......he began fucking me again! this man's amazing he just goes and goes!
after awhile he cleaned me up with a towel and i just lay on the bed, recovering....
we were laying in bed, i could tell he was about to fall asleep, but i was having a hyper night, and was bugging him to stay awake. he decided he needed to tire me out some more, so again we began to fuck.....this time, hard, and fast, and hot. it felt like he was tearing me apart, but in that awesome way where you just want it harder and harder. we were both sweating like crazy and breathing hard and i just wanted to keep fucking all night long. finally neither of us could handle it anymore.......we attempted to cool off, and drifted off to sleep.....
this morning, my legs were all weak and it took me awhile to learn how to walk again...he was gone at work, but i got to sleep in. i got up and was playing with his roommate's dog when E came back, he got off work today. so we decided to go look at motorcycle helmets and other gear. i went home and showered and we left....after an hour or two of looking at bike stuff, we headed back to my house. in the truck on the way back we were goofing around, and i suddenly got the urge to grab his cock....so, of course, i did. but then i realized just how horny i was....so on the interstate, i unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out, and began to just stroke it a little, see how he felt about it. i was kinda nervous because the semi drivers around us could probably see if they got the chance, but oh well. as soon as we got off the busy interstate, i leaned over and began to lick and suck his dick. i had to leave for work as soon as we got home, but i knew i had to have him....so we pulled into the driveway and as soon as we got inside he grabbed me and threw me on the kitchen counter....but, i'm a wuss and was scared that someone was going to come home, and made him take me to my bedroom.

he threw me down on the bed and pretty much ripped my belt off and zipper down. didnt even pull my pants and thong all the way down, and just went to town. the anticipation in the truck and the suddenness of it all and the hot was he was man-handling me caused me to come super fast.....so then it was MY turn to throw E onto the bed, pull his pants down, and begin to suck him off. again tho, my pussy was crying out for his cock, so i moved up and slid down onto his cock.
i kept looking at the clock, 2 minutes til i have to leave....1 minute....ok i should be leaving.....ok should have left 2 minutes ago......
our quickie wasn't quick enough tho, so we had to decide to finish later so i could get to work on time.
and all evening i've been doing nothing but thinking about the last few weeks, and how awesome E is for me, and how good he is to me, and how much i love him. and how much i cant wait to see him again. i'm really hoping we can do "lunch" again tomorrow!!!

3.11.2005

i love love love him!

so today has been a really shitty day, don't want to go into the details, but i was soooo upset and i called E and he just stopped working to talk to me and calm me down and even made a phone call for me cuz i couldn't handle it, and he talked to me until i felt better and he promised everything would be okay and he made it all better for me.
i am not the type of girl who goes to people for help or advice. i hardly ever do that. even when i really really need to talk to someone, i usually keep it all inside. but with E....i have no problems talking about what i'm feeling. i feel so comfortable talking to him. and knowing that he will make it better.


he has made it better for me so many times.

3.10.2005

boys hate me.

UGH i'm so pissed. so up until a few weeks ago, C and i had been talking like friends, once or twice a week. but lately he hasn't been talking to me....a week ago he text messaged me "would you like to go on a date sometime?"
i responded, "no, i don't think so."
he wrote, "wow."

hadn't heard from him at all since then, til today. he messages me online,

him: hey do you have a min?
me: yeah, a minute
him: when you move back to ____can you leave mt stuff somewhere so i can pick it up sometime?
me: yeah no problem
him: just let me know where you leave it and ill come get it. also if you dont mind i would like that tv and dvd player, the jewlery from mexico and i pod back as well..those were gifts so of course if you dont want to give them back thats your choice.
him: i dont want anything back that i gave to you for a reason..x mas birthday..grad stuff like that but the things that were just random gifts i really dont see a reason for you to have. expecialy the i pod concedering according to you. you had already been thinking about ending things when i bought it..
him: thats all i needed. you can either message me when you deside what and where everything will be or tell E or someone else in ____. Bye

what the fuck??? do people really do that?? ok for one thing, he wants the tv back, but that was a bday present.....

ok, C was very very generous to me. he is a tiny bit materialistic, and bought me stuff alllll the time. but i never used him. and i never asked for this stuff.

who asks for gifts back??? who asks for SOUVENIRS back???? (the necklace from mexico)

I didnt know how to respond, so i just didn't. i left and went to meet friends at the bar to vent. so far everyone i have asked said "that's shitty. don't give anything back."
but do i say 'fuck you' and keep it all?
or give it all back....i mean EVERYTHING and say 'i dont want your shit anyway'??

i hate drama. that's why when i hear stuff he says about me that isn't true, or when i hear the stupid stuff he's doing, i just ignore it. but how do i avoid drama this time? give it back?
i would NEVER ask for gifts back. and i won't ask him for anything back. i dont give gifts because i assume the person will always be around and if not, then i can just get the gift back. that's so.....wrong.
is he just being pissed and doesnt really want it, just wants to 'get back' at me? or does he really want it??

3.04.2005

wish that i had jesse's girl

i'm not very good at writing lately huh?
i just got a new job!! i'll be starting at the end of this month...which means i'll be moving in the next few weeks! i'm excited, and hoping it'll make me in a better mood. lately i've been feeling the closest to depressed i ever have...usually i have a very healthy mentality, so i'm probably just exaggerating my problem...but oh well.
(the spacebar on my computer is messed up and i keep having to go back and add spaces...annoying!)
i've been having major impulse control problems lately. spending too much money on dumb shit, and eating too much food, when i'm not hungry. i sleep a lot, or at least i just have kinda weird sleeping habits.....i probably just need to get out and work out finally, it's been awhile. but i've been stressed out about figuring out a job, and whether i should move, all that. i've been getting a lot of crap from people here, saying i shouldn't move and i can't leave them....and they are people i do really care about and will miss a lot. a ton.
but moving back 'home' is something i've been looking forward to for a while now. and i shouldn't let other people get me down about it.

PLUS i will be soooo close to E now! yay! and have a sweet job...i'll be nannying while i'm going to grad school. i can live at their house for free, free food, work 20 hours a week or less with their awesome kiddos, and make more a week than i do now, working 40 plus hours.

change of subject, the other night E and i were having awesome sex, and we start to settle down and he says, "hang on a sec, i have to go see if i'm bleeding."
i am so confused, thinking, well we could have used lube or something if it was that bad!!
but then he tells me it is his arm that may be bleeding...i dug in so hard i nearly drew blood. three big gashes on his arm. and the thing is, i had NO idea i did it!! i was so into it i wasn't paying attention to what i was doing. poor guy. but then to make him feel better, i showed him the bite marks on my knee that i made while he was fucking me with my legs up pretty much behind my head!! i need to be more careful!
but, sex bruises and cuts and scrapes and sores are the best, right! cuz everytime you move the wrong way the next day and you get a shooting pain, you also get a flashback to the crazy hot sex on the folding chair the night before. or the floor. or the backseat of the car.

koochietaster keeps talking about all the sweet shows he's been going to. i have been to a few lately, not nearly as many as i wish i could go to. too broke, or too busy. i saw something corporate a few months ago, i think they are my favorite band to see live, i have seen them 4 times. listening to their cds, you'd think it'd be a pretty mellow show. hell no. andrew rocks out so fuckin hard on that piano. makes me wet. i need to update my 'music' links.


so now i have a kinda weird question?? how does a girl get guys to NOT like her?? i know it's a weird complaint, but i seem to have guys like me too much?? recently i had more than one guy friend, that i have known for a long time, express interest in dating me. UMM where did that come from??? is usually what i'm thinking.
i have always been the type who thinks guys and girls can be just friends. because i have a lot of guy friends. but have i just been naive, and all my guy friends are thinking, "well i'll keep her around in case sometime i want some" or "maybe if i stay friends with her eventually she'll wanna date me?"
then how do you tell a guy friend, who you like a lot as a person, that you aren't interested in him in that way? and still be 'friends'?

ok i feel that i have been rambling too much.
gonna go jill off and go to bed!

2.17.2005

girls night

My roommates and some friends and I have decided we need more girls nights. We went out last week and got smashed and talked about sex all night and got hit on by more guys than I could believe.
So we went out last night with the intention of getting wasted, talking girl talk, and staying away from men. I never realized the power a group of sexy young women could have!
We went to a busy restaurant/bar, and went to the upper level where there was the big bar and a load of pool tables. We didnt see any tables except one that was empty but for a briefcase sitting on one of the chairs. There were several tables around it full of business men, and we assumed they were saving the table. So we were just standing around, waiting for a table to clear, when an older man (late 40's, early 50's) came up to us with his arm around a younger Indian man.
He asks us, "Are you girls alone?"
(duh, there are 6 of us standing together. does 'alone' mean 'without men'??)
Then he asks, "Have you heard of the company______?"
We say no.
"Well, it's a huge, successful company and I'm the founder. This here is my friend, he runs the branch in India. He is a millionaire. He pretty much runs India. He's very successful. Blah blah blah blah blah."
Half of us are nodding and smiling, being nice, while a couple girls and I just roll our eyes.
"So, today is my friend's third day in the United States, ever. He's very rich. He's been hanging out with us old guys all day. He's loaded. Why don't you let him join you and show him how nice Americans are. He's got money coming out of his ass."
(ok so he didnt say it quite like that but pretty much came across that way.)
The whole time tho, the Indian man is acting all embarrassed that this drunk dude is making an ass out of himself.
He keeps going on and on because we don't really know how to say, "we're not impressed by your money so go away."
Finally I cut in and say "Well, it's girls night, and we have banned men. So, sorry."
He continues to say how we are going to make his friend think Americans are mean, blah blah blah. Well, we are standing near that table that has the briefcase, and I'm tired of standing and tired of hearing this guy ramble, so I cut in and said, "Is that your table?"
"Yeah, all these table are ours. But you can have it."
Sweet. So we left the dudes and just sat down.
Now, I kinda felt bad cuz the Indian man seemed nice, and was not into bragging about money like the older man. So when the waitress came, I asked her to get the Indian man a drink and put it on my tab. Not that he can't afford it, because he's a millionaire and all. But just as a "Sorry we turned you down."
We got a round ourselves and started in on the girl talk, and after awhile the Indian man came over and thanked us for the drink, and apologized for the older man. He told us to have a good night and left.
Our waitress came over later and said, "This gentleman would like to buy you ladies a round."
Score.
So we all got martinis of course, and joked about how now we HAVE to sleep with him.
Later we found out he took care of our first round too. Guess we owe him an orgy now.
Anyway, we thanked him and left after awhile, all of us tipsy or drunk and only out about $2.
Oh, and throughout the time we were there more of his coworkers came up to us and sat down, but we were assertive bitches and made them leave.

So we go to another bar for a drink, and then head to a dance club for last call. Now, I hate to dance. There were about 10 people there tho, so I shook my ass with the girls for a little while.
Some older guys came up to my girls while I was sitting down, and eventually they made them leave. So a minute later, one of those guys' friends came and sat by me.
"Uh, my friends tell me you guys are lesbians."
What the hell. You dumbshit.
"No, we are having a girls night out. We are not lesbians."
"Oh. Well they said you are. How old are you?"
"21"
"I'm 42. I could be your dad."
"Yep. You could. But, we are having girls night and you are not a girl so go tell your friends we're not lesbians and go find some other girls."


Then we went home. What is with all the older men hitting on us? I mean, they weren't really that old, but you'd think that they would look for women a little older than 21? And you'd think that after years of hitting on women they'd have better pickup lines than "I'm rich" or "Are you lesbians?"


But it's great to go out with the girls, talk about our sex lives and not worry about picking up guys. But if our goal was to pick up guys, we'd be in. The hard part is making people believe that "Girls Night" really means girls only. For us, it doesn't mean "Go out with the girls and come home with men."

2.16.2005

i am still alive.

i'm really good at procrastinating. i have been doing a shitty job with this, huh? sorry.
i will try harder! i swear!
so i found out that i will be accepted to the graduate school that's top on my list. yay! now i'm just waiting for the official word. in the meantime, i am still working fulltime and trying to find a new job, since i will be moving back around my hometown to go to school.
E and i....long story. too long to tell right now.

1.10.2005

storytime!

i did have this 'story' up in my old blog...so you may remember it. but, i'm sure you won't mind reading it again.


"Can't sleep?" he asked.
"Nope," I replied, "Not at all." I then rolled over onto my side. He began to rub my back. And instantly, a million memories and feelings came rushing through me.He was a great friend of mine -- but just a friend. He had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend, but we still spent a lot of time together, because we had been friends for years.
However, we did have a short past, of being more than just friends. Kind of a rebound period, you could say. We had spent many awesome nights together, but no sex. We'd be drinking with friends and end up on the living room couch going down on each other, so into it that we didn't stop when people came in and out of the room. He was a little different than most guys. He was so into making me feel good. He wasn't in a rush. He'd kiss every part of my body. One night he made me come just by kissing my neck. He was just that good at reading me.
But after some time we went our own ways -- after all, it had just been "friends with benefits"so now here we were, trying to sleep after a party, sharing the futon. We had slept next to each other many times since we had both started dating other people, but nothing had ever happened. It was more comfortable to lay with him than anything. I loved talking to him; he was a good listener and one of the least judgmental people I had ever met.
But tonight seemed different than those past nights. All evening we had been flirting, which was no big deal. But once most people had left or passed out, we were still up. He began rubbing my feet as we talked. He knew it was one of my weak spots -- he was the first guy to ever kiss and suck on my toes, and he made me realize just how great it made me feel. He also knew that no other guy since him had kissed them, so he knew they were craving attention. So I just tried to enjoy the foot rub, and tried not to let the familiar feeling wash over me.
And so now here we are in bed, with him rubbing my back, trying to help me fall asleep.
His hand was warm through my t-shirt, covering nearly half of my back with his large palm and long fingers. As his hand went to my lower back, his fingers brushed over my bare skin just above the sweats I had changed into. His touch sent goosebumps all over me.
At first, he kept pulling my t-shirt down, so he avoided my skin. Soon, however, he slipped his hand under my t-shirt and slid it up my spine, to my neck, and across my shoulders. All the while he was doing this, my mind was drifting back to when we'd sleep naked together, our skin touching, our hands and lips exploring. I tried to keep in the moans that wanted to escape my lips. It was amazing to me that a simple back rub would make me want so much. I knew I should make him stop, but I just couldn't. My brain had no control. He continued to run his hand over my back, sometimes using just his fingertips, which against caused my breath to rush out past my lips. Without realizing it, I had been arching my back towards his touch. He ran his hand down my side and over my hipbone -- immediately, my whole body became warm, and I felt my pussy get wet.
He brushed his fingers up my stomach, and ever so lightly caressed the under side of my breast. I jolted from the incredibly strong feeling that went through me. This, right now, was the time I needed to get up and go sleep on the floor. But I hesitated too long, and all the control I might have had was gone.
I arched my back and pushed my ass back into his crotch. I could feel his hard cock pushing into me. As soon as I did that, he grabbed my tits and began rubbing and squeezing them, pinching my nipples between his finger and thumb with just the right pressure. I reached behind me and, sliding my hands down his pants, grabbed his rock hard dick. As I began to stroke it, he started to kiss my neck, and his hand slid down to my now dripping cunt.
He teased me, rubbing my smooth pussy lips lightly, and then suddenly plunged his finger into me. I grabbed his cock hard and shoved my face into my pillow to moan.
He finger fucked me a little more, still licking and kissing my neck. He moved his fingers to my clit, and began to lightly circle it. By this time I lost all concentration, and stopped stroking his cock, just keeping my hand over his hot head. He circled my clit faster and faster until my body shook with an orgasm. He then slid two fingers into my pussy. The thickness felt so good, and I couldn't wait any longer to feel his fat cock in me. I slid my sweats off, and he brought his fingers up to my mouth, so I could lick my sweet pussy juices off of them.
He pulled his pants off, and with my back still to him, I directed his cock to my pussy. He teased me with the head of his dick for a second, and then in one swift movement shoved all of it in me. I nearly screamed with the wave of pleasure that went through my body. He shoved his cock in and out of me, still playing with my tits and kissing my neck at the same time. All these sensations were too much, and I felt another orgasm flow through me. He continued fucking me, his long hard dick forced in and out of my soaked pussy. I could tell he wasn't far from coming, and I began rubbing my clit and squeezing his cock as hard as I could with my cunt. He was breathing hard and fast into my ear. I could feel his balls slapping my ass, and as I came once more, I felt his cock jerk in me, and he made those cute sexy moans he had always made when he came. He stayed in me for a few moments, kissing my shoulders and caressing my thigh.
I didn't know what to think, I couldn't think. I couldn't tell if I was happy that this had happened, or if I was going to regret it. I didn't want to figure it out just then. He pulled out of me, and I rolled to face him. He started to say something, but I covered his lips with mine and gave him a long, hard kiss. We hadn't spoken since I had rolled over to begin with, and I didn't want to speak now. We kissed for a long time, exploring with our tongues. It was as if we knew this would be the very last time and we wanted to memorize the taste, the feel.
I broke the kiss, stared into his gorgeous eyes, and rolled over.